I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
[Where are you? I’m hurt!
I’m banging on heaven’s door.]
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
At night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
[I’ve called out to you until my throat is dry.
I keep on praying, calling, screaming, pushing and
people are telling me I’m crazy, that’s it’ll all be okay but I want you.]
I remembered you, God, and I groaned.
I meditated and my spirit grew faint. Selah.
[I did what I was meant to do- you asked me to pray, so I did, even when I couldn’t find the worlds.
I couldn’t even eat, couldn’t drink, just sat and thought about you. Sigh.]
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
[I couldn’t sleep, restless in cold sweats
People keep asking me what’s wrong but I just shrug and look to the ground, and sometimes a tear will escape.]
I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
[Remember the good old days? Playing and carefree when I was a kid;
I remember the songs I used to sing, and I sang them when darkness closed in.]
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
“Will the Lord reject me forever?
Will he never show his favour again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”
[Questions! They plague me, flittering around my head like wasps.
“Are you giving me the silent treatment, ignoring me?
Don’t you care about me? I don’t deserve this.
They call you loving, and yet how could a good God allow this? The God of Israel is nowhere to be found on Earth today.
Another promise broken- I thought you weren’t like everyone else?
Did you forget what you said, about protecting me? Did you forget about me?
Did I do something wrong?”]
Then I thought, “To this I will appeal
The year when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
Yes I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will consider all your works and meditate on your mighty deeds.”
[Something clicked though, and I remembered the Sunday School stories.
I thought “I remember all that you have already done,
and instead of letting my head be filled with questions and my heart be filled with hurt, I’ll concentrate on who you’ve already shown yourself to be, through what you have done.”]
Your ways, God, are holy.
What god is as great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles;
You display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
[The way you act is set apart.
I look at the way everyone is living and recognise this is the best.
You can do things beyond our control and our imagination,
and you’ve shown us again and again.
You sent your son to die on a cross for me, because you loved me
and now I get to be a part of your family, adopted]
The waters saw you, God
the waters saw you and writhed,
the very depths were convulsed.
The clouds poured down water,
the heavens resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
[You’re not afraid of what I find scary
The scary things are afraid of you instead.
In the chaos, you have control
In the war, your weapons win.]
Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
[Your voice calls above the cacophony of my terror,
I can see you through the storm
Your power shakes everything to its very core.]
Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.
[I remember when you made a way for your people,
even when it seemed there was absolutely no way out,
and you were there even when it really seemed like you were nowhere to be found.]
You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
[We’re lost. We’re scared and scattered
But you’re a good shepherd who protects us from the wolves and brings us back.
You give us good leaders- mentors, friends, and people to guide us along the way.]